Inside Destira: Raising a Toddler
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Toddlers are known to be high-energy, highly inquisitive, wonderous humans. Between the ages of 1 - 3, they are learning all about the world. It is a truly remarkable - and chaotic - time for them and their parents.
We sat down with our Senior Director of Design and Development, Myriah, about toddlerhood with her daughter, Poppy. Check out what she has to say about being in the joys and mayhem of raising a toddler.
- What are 3 words/phrases to describe being a toddler mom?
- Beautiful Chaos, Unpredictable, Heartbreakingly sweet
- The toddler ages are once-in-a-lifetime. What is something that you will miss about your child being a toddler in the future?
- All the adorable little phrases and messed up words. Like “jumpalene” (trampoline), or “cereal soup” (cereal with milk). Write them all down somewhere because you think you’ll remember them forever, but you do forget.
- How do you make time for yourself amidst the demands of toddler life?
- Ha! If I figure this out I’ll get back to you.
- What’s a “mom hack” you’ve discovered that makes life with a toddler easier?
- Toddlers don’t love getting their hands/faces wiped. So instead we have a game of “How dirty can you make this napkin?” If it’s a game, they buy in pretty quickly.
- Always give them a choice. If you say “Let's put on our pants” they will fight it. If you say “Do you want the pink pants or the blue pants?” they will usually make a choice and comply. This choice hack applies to everything in their world.
- How do you support your toddler’s independence while keeping her safe?
- Toddlers want independence and autonomy whenever possible. They have so few decisions they get to make for themselves, so unless we are doing family pictures or something high stakes, I let my daughter pick out and wear what she wants. I give her food options. I let her make decisions wherever I can to help foster her independence.
- When my son was a toddler he took to drawing on the walls one day. Instead of scolding him, I encouraged his art and instead painted a chalkboard wall for him. He loved it, kept creating, and the rest of my walls were left untouched moving forward. The key is not to tamp down their spirits with their “bad behaviors”, it’s to let them become good behaviors by giving them safe boundaries.
- What’s a recent milestone your toddler reached that made you proud?
- My almost 3-year-old daughter learned how to spell her name, calling out “P-O-P-P-Y” on repeat everywhere she goes. So now she’s learning how to sign it in sign language.
- What are some challenges you face that you didn’t anticipate before becoming a toddler mom?
- I never fully understood the heart's capacity for love until becoming a mother. Until I kissed a face that mirrors my own. Until I frightened away middle-of-the-night scaries, bandaged imaginary boo-boos, worried my way through high fevers, felt pride at witnessing a kindness given without instruction, or marveled at a new concept grasped. Motherhood is a million little moments woven together, the hard and the beautiful, the seemingly impossible, and the joy in the mundane. That kind of love is a gift I will never take for granted.
- What is some advice you would give to other moms entering the toddler phase?
- Never be the first to let go of a hug.
- When they make good choices, brag to their stuffies about how proud you are of their behavior.
- They are not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. Keeping that perspective helps shift how you show up for them.
- Call them brave, gentle, kind, strong, etc in front of others. It will become their inner voice.
- Spend the first 10 minutes of their day fully present with them. It sets the tone for both of you.
- Sometimes good parenting is simply the commitment to getting dirty in the pursuit of making memories.
- “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.” -Jill Churchill
Myriah added, “I always knew I would love motherhood, but I wasn’t fully prepared for how much. For the heaviness of that kind of love. Knowing that you created the little heart beating in a 3-foot-tall human, and knowing that you’ve been tasked with teaching it love, compassion, humility, and kindness. Their hearts are wide open, their snaggle-toothed smiles give way to full belly laughs, and their little hands are always quietly searching for yours. It’s such an incredible journey. Time really is a thief, so just hold on to each precious moment and enjoy the ride.”
